if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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