We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize