mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
