I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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