Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
