Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
