You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is the high leading the old right now
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
