By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
