just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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