I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize