How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
