We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
