Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize