CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
