I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
