i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I have post one night stand depression
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