Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
420 ftw
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize