I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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