well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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