tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
