She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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