Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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