Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
