the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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