3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
