Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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