He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's when you crack a 10am beer
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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