Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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