i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
