margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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