Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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