yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
