can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
