Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
