what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
