I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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