so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
