i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
