I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
