yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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