maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize