Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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