I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
