Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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