I think I am morally bankrupt
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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