Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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