walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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