We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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