It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
