i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
