You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize