you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
