I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need water and some morals
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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