what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
