I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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