But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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