Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
