is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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