yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize