um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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