I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
