turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
