D3 body, D1 cock
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
